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  • nwianwood

Meditation as a trigger word and my salvation with food.

Updated: Jun 11, 2021

For me, personal growth has had many difficulties and speed bumps.

It often feels like I am going against the grain within a society that focuses very little on intimately knowing themselves.

Sometimes I can feel like a fool sitting down for an hour in the morning to meditate, focused on doing nothing. Simply being with myself.

I am grateful for all the teachings that are erupting all over the world so I can constantly tap in and say to myself- “This is important.”

When I first started reading about mindfulness and meditation I was utterly confused.

Was I doing it right? Was I feeling what was supposed to be felt?

What was going on in someone else’s head?

Mostly I just felt anger, and fear, at my inability to slow my thoughts.

“Am I so broken that I can’t even sit with a quiet mind?”

A practice that was supposed to be about becoming more peaceful was making me more upset. I would get up from my session sometimes with heat coursing through my body and my heart rate pumping. WTF !!!!

I felt like fish being taught how to climb trees.

For years these lessons were not being explained in a way that worked for me.

I found myself sitting in an attempt to empty the thoughts in my head.

It was as uncomfortable as holding my breath for long periods of time.

I was quite surprised how things finally clicked.

A crack of light finally shined in.

The information landed.

Many years ago, while fishing in Alaska, I was reading a book-

Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das

A style of presence finally helped me embody the teachings.

One that I did not expect.

Eating Meditation.

To observe and be present for all the sensations that are there while eating a delicious meal.

The smells.

The textures.

The vast flavors that pass across my taste buds.

Closing my eyes.

Chewing longer than normal.

Taking bigger breaks between bites.

Connecting to breath.

This abstract way changed everything for me.

What I learned from that experience was the value of finding what works for me, not others.

Not beating my head against the wall for what “should” work.

To land in that feeling of something clicking- the AHA !

The best way to find that is to try a plethora of styles that draw you into the moment.

Tap into the vast list of experiential tools that lead to self observation....


If you would like to become a better self observer join my habit share community. Habit share is an app. designed to support us in creating new habits. Step into a daily practice of observation and awareness of self. It is a powerful way to create long lasting habits. My QR code is below, easily find me on there.

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