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  • nwianwood


Waking up after just spending the night in the back of my truck.

I made my home for the night at the Bellevue botanical gardens parking lot.

I am feeling vibrancy all around me and in me.

Feeling myself in a special place.

Smiling and saying hello to all those that pass by on the trails.

Regardless of if they look warm and welcoming.

I am wanting to share, not focused on what I will receive.

Feeling my desire to emanate joy, awe, and wonder with anyone around.


My life has been abnormal.

I have not worked a 9-5 for over 15 years.

I started commercial fishing at 21.

I was managing cannabis harvest crews at 25.

I had been working for about 3 months out of the year for over a decade.

I no longer work for anyone, I have said goodbye to my safety nets.

I have stepped onto a new path.


I learned a lot about life on my abnormal journey.

Introspection is like breathing these days.

I feel connected to the world around me like never before.

Thanking the trees for each breath.

Feeling the frequency of the earth under my feet.

Life has worked with me in unfathomable ways.

Helping shape me into this unique individual.

Dancing with the divine.


Lately, I have been noticing a glow on children’s faces that I don’t see on many adults.

I assume life has brought pain or hardship and protection now guards the child-like state.

The awe, the wonder, the joy of the simplest things.

When we age do we need to become more lifeless, hard, constricted?

The twinkle leaving our eyes.

Is life so serious?

Are our goals and desires worthy of disconnection from the magic all around?

In order to be an adult in these times do we need to be this way?


I believe this is part of my journey here on earth.

It is meant to come through me, and to be shared.

To breathe life into spots of sedation.

To guide people from survival and back into creation.

To hold the hands of inner Childs, guide them back to play, just as I continually guide mine.

Show them that they have skills they once did not.

That it is safe to come back out and feel awe and wonder.


Life is so vibrant and magical because it is so fragile.

If we go around trying to bubble wrap every aspect of our life we will miss the very life we are trying to protect.

We must be willing to lose everything. Break things. Feel the pain of fragility.

It’s going to happen regardless of how we feel about it.

Nothing is permanent.

Nothing is permanent.


The vibrancy of life flows through those that are willing to feel the pain of losing it all.

Those that know that it is part of the journey in these human forms.

And in this relationship, one can actually be free to live because there is no longer denial.

No longer a need to create distractions in hope of avoiding these universal truths.

Awe, wonder, gratitude, enjoyment, all await us within each moment.

We have an opportunity to REVIVE the sedated areas of life.

Bring energy to the places that have become DEAD.

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