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  • nwianwood

10, 11, 12, Years and counting

Updated: Jun 11, 2021

It’s taken me over 10 years to start to grasp just how busy and out of control my mind can be.

In my early 20’s I was living in California with my partner at the time.

We had a pool at the apartments we were living at.

Things were rough then. Arguments every day. Disfunction at its best.

I was in a really dark place.

I was struggling.

I purchased a book titled Awareness that led me on a path that I am still consciously walking.

Everyday possible I would go down to the pool and sit out to read that book.

It delivered a message that was able to land in a way I had not yet been able to receive.

The feeling that best describes it to me right now is being in a raging river and finally popping my head above water to realize it.

It was just for a moment, but long enough to feel that I was living within an uncontrollable force much stronger than me.

It was a taste of self-observation.

From that point on I started paying attention to the thoughts that are constantly racing within my head.

It has been almost 15 years and I am continuing to find this strong, at times still uncontrollable, force. A busy mind that wants to be everywhere but the present moment.









What I have found is this is a theft of life.

Trapped in the sands of time of a giant hourglass, often searching forthe actual place life happens- NOW.

I miss out on the flavors of food. Beautiful views. Hard-earned rewards. Magnificent people. My family. Adventure. Anything and everything in between.

Now, this thinking mind is quite a gift but it is meant to be a tool, not the mechanism running the show.

Thankfully there are endless teachings from cultures all over the world that have been around for thousands of years. There is a plethora of information.

As human beings, we are creatures of habit, and most of us have taken on habits of busy minds constantly future tripping.

PRESENCE is a community I am building online that is dedicated to reversing this pattern that has gotten troublesome. To take back control from the subconscious mechanisms.

Join my habit share community. Habit share is an app. designed to support us in creating new habits. Step into a daily practice of observation and awareness of self. It is a powerful way to create long lasting habits. My QR code is below, easily find me on there.

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